Some of these are out of touch with the times, and others were never a good idea to begin with. Either way, if, for some reason you are still rocking these, do us a favor and think about tossing them.
Tie dye anything
Tie dye T-shirts belong at children’s birthday parties (where they are hand made) and the far, far recesses of your memory — a hazy, immature, high school memory.
Abercrombie and Fitch
Flickr
Nothing says “I’m an adult” like dressing like you did in ’01.
Tevas
The actual purpose of the Teva as an article of clothing remains unclear. Are they for running? No. Lounging on the beach? Surely there are better shoes for that. Hiking? Wouldn’t one want to go with a close-toed shoe for that?
One can only come to the conclusion that these shoes were created to embarrass whoever is wearing them.
Over-sized jackets.
AP
Obama yes. Chris Christie no, no, no.
Whether the jacket is part of a suit or actual outer wear, please keep in mind that the modern man’s look is more tailored.
And by tailored we mean it’s meant to make you look slim and comfortable, not big and drowning in your own clothes.
Square-toed shoes
High school prom anyone? We’re not sure when these were in style, but they now seem to occupy this vortex where fashion goes into a zombified state and continues to live on after death. Help us make it stop.
Cargo everything
If you don’t have important things to put in your pockets — all your pockets — do not wear these. The legs are usually unfashionably wide anyway. This goes for shorts and pants.
Oversized belts
Fox Business screenshot
See Jamie’s belt? Do not wear Jamie’s belt.
Dad jeans
If you are a dad that’s really still not an excuse. You can do better. A lot better.
Cutoff shirts
No, you cannot wear your cutoff shirt to the gym. It still looks ridiculous.
Beanie hats
Beanie hats are for adorable children and inclement weather. They are not a hat that an adult male should wear indoors.
Hemp jewelry
If you absolutely must keep your hemp jewelry consider it a costume piece only to be worn when you take your little brother to his first Dark Star Orchestra concert.
Reflective/statement sunglasses
Oakley
It’s not 94 anymore and you are definitely not Robocop.
And while we’re on eye wear — Croakies.
Maybe don’t throw these out, just only wear them when you’re in the woods. Or fishing. Or running for your life on a really bright day.
Otherwise, no.
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